This week, I’ve had a few too many late nights and way too much time spent in front of a computer screen. After saving iTunes yesterday, setting up the new website over the weekend and beginning to dip my toes into the world of Photoshop, I’m feeling a bit tired.
And I’m feeling a little guilty. I started off with good intentions, I’ve gone back to the gym two days this week, did a hard interval running session on Sunday morning, lots of yoga and was intending to continue working on my distance runs (I’m back to 5km now). But the late nights and computer screen have taken their toll.
Thus, this public announcement: do the run, do the class, get the reward. This means: this afternoon, 5km run. At 6pm, Pump. At 7:30pm, visit my Amazon wishlist for a reward.
Do you think it will work? I need a virtual cheering squad – can you help?
Fear: I’m not good enough, not smart enough, don’t have enough time, haven’t done enough to finish my PhD.
Me: I’ve written it all (bar the conclusion). But it’s still not good enough. It’s never going to be good enough and I don’t even know why I’m doing it. It really doesn’t mean that much to me anymore. I should have admitted defeat years ago and just focussed on something else.
Angry voice in head: Why are you wasting all the winter -the only time you can go camping and bushwalking in the desert- inside attached to your computer? And why aren’t you going to the gym as much as you used to? Why aren’t you going to yoga class? Why does he keep picking on me about my thesis? Can’t he see I’ve nearly finished?
Depressed voice in head: Withdraw. Hide. Hide. Hide. Hide.
Me: My mind is out of control. My emotions are out of control. I feel like I’m going to snap. I’m angry and short tempered all the time. I feel like I have no time to myself.
Fear: You’ll run out of time. You’ve got the argument all wrong. The thesis is not sophisticated enough.
Me: I’ll never be good enough. Why am I doing this to myself and my family?
…and so it goes, round and round and round in my head, the pack of dogs eating my car.
Don’t put me up on a pedestal, I’m no Boddhisattva.
*This is a REAL headline from the Northern Territory News
If you’ve never imagined that your journal could help you solve problems, then you might change your mind because in this post, I share three simple tools for problem solving with your journal.
That’s right: three really simple tools that really work.
Are you ready? Great. Let’s go then.
The most useful tips I’ve ever learned about thesis/dissertation writing have been incredibly practical. I’ve tried all kinds of motivational tools, PhD writing guides and software to encourage me to get the THING done. Some work, many just sit on my shelf or cost me needless money. I’m not selling anything here, either – just sharing what’s worked for me.
My PhD thesis, which was going along swimmingly (old chaps) until the beginning of this year, has been stalled for a while, trying to negotiate a speedbump called Chapter 6.