This is a post about how I’ve been feeling for the past few weeks: flat.
I am shortly going on a yoga intensive -which I have been looking forward to all year – and I’m not excited in the slightest. I am not interested in work, I am not interested in going to the gym (although I have dramatically increased the amount of running I’m doing). I’m not really interested in watching TV or reading books. I’m not much interested in anything at all. Apart from wasting time on the internet. Which I suspect has become an addiction.
Most of all I am worried about my lack of interest in going to the gym.
I’ve been going to the gym -to group fitness classes and doing weights-at least 5 times per week for 23 years. This is twice as long as I’ve been doing yoga. When I think about it, I’ve been teaching gym classes for 20 years!
Now, I am just not interested. Even in Pump, which is the best, most effective class in the whole world.
This really worries me.
You see, I rely on Pump to keep me athletic and strong. I can see my muscles fading (no, they don’t turn into fat – just like apples don’t turn into oranges). But I just can’t make myself go.
And no, I’m not putting on weight – afterall, I’m running and doing yoga (ok. I am still doing Body Attack a couple of times per week). To be truthful, I’m losing weight because of muscle shrinkage. Not that I have any extra weight to lose. Last time I weighed myself, I was 47kg ( before you say bitch! or something like that, please note that I am only 157cm or 5 ft 2 inches tall – about the size of a 12 year old!).
I really want the enthusiasm for the gym, for well … everything to come back.
I’ve noticed over the past few months that I’ve been really tired. For the past 3 weeks, I’ve had a lot of trouble sleeping which has made me even more tired and feel less like going to the gym.
Then there’s the politics of instructing and the demands of teaching which I’ve written about in a previous post. This does not make me feel like going at all. There are two other gyms in town -one of which has even worse politics and one which doesn’t have the Les Mills classes that I love, so I don’t really have much of a choice.
Maybe I just need a break. Maybe I should just accept that everyone goes ‘flat’ once in a while … but I’m flat in every part of my life it seems.
Maybe there is something wrong with me…
Or is it just that time of year?
*In case you’re wondering (you probably weren’t), I average about 2 flats per year, remarkable given the kinds of off-road driving I do during my work.